The title of this piece isn’t meant to be snide or churlish, just what I’m feeling right now.
Did your grade school have a naughty bench? You know, the bench or chairs outside of the Principal’s Office? Where the ‘bad kids’ sat before getting lectured for their behavior?
Yeah, that place.
I admit it. I’m an ass. I’ve taken the first step: admitting to a problem. The next steps are even harder, but today I’m trying my best.
If you keep count of such things, you may notice that the blog here is a bit smaller. I’ve deleted some of my postings from last year, especially those that called out certain people and places, for perceived (at least MY perception) wrongs. I didn’t deleted those posts to make myself look better, they were deleted to start a healing process. Certain of those posts strayed from the mission of this blog, which was to create a place that was dedicated to glassworking studio safety. Some of the deleted and edited posts took things too far and instead it became a pulpit to bluster and be a blow-hard.
I’ve wronged a fair number of people over the years, both in word and in deed. I know that a goodly number of those will never ever forgive me. That’s fair enough. But I hope that at some point in time I can at least look them in the eye and not see disgust and anger.
One person in particular deserves mention here: Pam Dugger. Pam and I used to be very good friends. Until, that is, I first put her into an untenable position and then sat on the sidelines like the Peanut Gallery and criticized her for (my perception of) inactivity. I wanted her to do what *I* wanted her to do, which wasn’t fair to her or to our friendship or the membership of the ISGB at large. I used our friendship to attempt to get the things done that I felt needed to be done. I destroyed something that should have been cherished and nutured. I don’t know that I will ever be able to sit down across a table from her again and laugh at the general silliness of the world we live in. And I am a lesser person for that. Pam, I am sorry. I hope that at some time in the future you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Barb Svetlick: I betrayed your trust in me. I thought I was doing the right thing, but by all reckonings, it was probably the worst thing I’ve done in quite awhile. I am sorry. I hope that you too can find it in your heart someday to forgive me.
Robin Aragorn: I wrote something extremely stupid to you in the heat of an argument and it has burned in you for at least a year and a half. We’ve battled and exchanged heated words across several forums over the past 18 or so months and they all finally came to a head this week. I wish I had been in the office on Wednesday so that I could have apologized to you then and there, but I wasn’t and here we are.
I am sorry, Robin. Sorry for the stupid words, the arguments and the name calling. I’d love to be able to turn back the clock and take back everything that was said and done, but I can’t. I am glad that you continued to stand up for yourself and speak out against what I’d written. Thank you for that. I don’t know what more I can do, but you have my full and complete apology.
There are others that I’m sure I’ve offended and hurt over the years. If you read this, send me an e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d like to apologize, either privately or publically.
I’m going to set this post so it stays on top for awhile so folks get a chance to see it.